Before I became a blogger I always thought of writing a blog about why I hate other people my age, why I’m still single and loving it and how I can get away with genuinely insulting my generation to their faces without getting in trouble with any of them, because they all know I’m right.
What I hate about kids my age:
Showering- this is suddenly foreign? Have we all regressed to the middle school again, fighting with mommy and daddy about regular cleansing routines? NO, stop hugging a tree you ignorant american and shampoo your nasty greasy hair.
Fake corrective lens- God gave you perfect vision, STOP WEARING 80’s GLASSES PUNK YOU LOOK STUPID.
Birds- This random new obsession with birds, putting a bird on a bag does not make it artistic or cool, it just makes it look like that same bag that Julie, Becky, Cindy, Brittney and Amber have.
Photography- Yes your iphone has a nice camera in it, NO YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER, get over yourself please.
Coffee Shops- You don’t like coffee, you like the four word name beverage. You ruin a coffee stop for me, I wanted to order a Tall dark roast but was slowed down by you and your four word drink with non-fat milk, sugar free whip cream, decaf mocha espresso BOLOGNA, leave my coffee shop now I want a coffee and you are stopping me right now.
Dressing as though it isn’t winter: Put clothes on, I do not need to see your fake tan legs in 20 degrees, thank you.
Indie kids- you know who you are, you may not admit you are indie, oh but you are.
People that post status’ on Facebook about global warming: Global warming makes hotter summers and colder winters, research your facts before you spew your thoughts.
People that post serious “end of the world” and “everyone is destroying the Earth lets all hug a tree” status’ on Facebook.- GET OVER YOURSELF.
High school Bullies- I may not be in High school any more, but bullies suck and even though I wish to bully the bullies, I won’t.. I’ll just yell at them like an overbearing mother would.
The constant party folks- You look so unhappy with your life that you are constantly drinking, sober up get an education and get a job you loser.
Why I’m still single and loving it:
The above statements are what I am currently looking at, I’d rather be single thank you.
Why my insults are funny:
Sarcasm on my part and unintelligence on the insulted part.