Wait, you’re building an Ark?

You read the title right, I’m building an Ark. The Blizzard of 2014 that kept me indoors at my place of employment for over 48 straight hours didn’t stop me, or slow me down. At. all. In fact the accumulations of two to three feet of snow turned me into a wide-eyed-no-sleeping-psycho-customer-service-rep for more than 48 hours.
To say the just over 48 hour extravaganza at a sold out, severely understaffed hotel was exciting and delightful is obviously an understatement. Although the previous statement seems to be riddled with sarcasm I can genuinely say I have a great job for being in customer service with pretty awesome co-workers that helped get me through the Blizzard 2k14. Some of the highlights from the storm were:
– the realization and near emotional breakdown upon seeing the overnight guy indeed did risk his life to work the overnight shift and that I indeed was not stranded alone with the future hotel packed full. And further the emotional breakdown the next day when the seven to three pm girl came in through a blizzard.
– getting handed four double cheeseburgers for my coworkers and I from a Canadian guest while saying something similar to this: “God bless Canada, Canadians and all that inhabit that geographical land mass.” And ripping into the bag of double cheeseburgers while fighting back tears with mass hysteria and relief all at once.
– finding dirty jeans in my car at hour forty eight. This was after starting my car in efforts to work up the courage to drive a half hour home in a driving ban blizzard for my sanity. I became so distracted by the utter joy of being able to sleep in something other than then uniform I had been wearing for basically forty eight hours that the energy I had back logged for the driving and ultimate excuse generation for the cop that would ticket me for driving was all exasperated on my reaction of finding the said jeans.
-putting the jeans on in the room I was given to sleep and realizing I still felt disgusting so standing commando in jeans in the bathroom of this hotel room cleaning my dirty panties in the sink- I’m not proud.
– a French Canadian screaming at me in French and me in my head taking back the previous blessing I asked God to bestow on the nation.
-Law and Order SVU keeping me entertained for nine hours while hiding in a hotel room pretending I was sleeping. It was between 7 pm and four am on the last night of my captivity so nothing too major was going on at that point.
-Seven am on Wednesday morning after being on the clock for two hours cleaning rooms, starting my car and very seriously throwing my body across my car to clear the snow away and then gunning it in reverse to get my car out of the spot it was plowed into.
-Lastly the celebratory seven am screaming, crying and laying on my horn as I attempted to speed but really slide down the drive way while “spray screaming” (hopefully only loud enough for me to hear) “SEE YA NEVER SUCKERS”.

But getting back to the actual reason I decided to write this post. The snow we received on Monday through Wednesday this delightful January week has begun to melt as the temperatures rage from the negative teens to above fifty degrees all Fahrenheit because I’m not European or Canadian or smart. As the snow melts and meteorologists on all local news stations threaten us with rain I begin the architectural maneuver in my brain of an arc. People left and right have been looking at me crazy like I am taking this flash flooding hazard threats too seriously, but they didn’t spend over forty eight hours at their place of employment without make up on, hives from the soap they used and dirty panties on their bottoms. Obviously they don’t have the mental capacity to be serious enough. Clearly they will be the first to be excluded from my arc when the floods hit.

I’m pulling a Noah and building an Ark, only good friends and weirdos are allowed on the Ark. If you just asked yourself if we are good friends, clearly you are excluded from the Flood-Water-Evading-Ark.

Cheers friends, may the flood waters only reach high enough to destroy all your material and personal belongings and only part of your kind natured spirit.

Caitlin and the Ark that will save her from the flood water of Blizzard 2k14.


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