I’m sitting facing a lake in the western most part of the Adriondack Region. It is in moments such as this that the chaos of life is silenced and the euphoria of Joy is in complete focus. I thought with the ease of summer my life would slow down just a little, but I blinked my eyes twice and it’s almost August. To be honest I feel utterly blessed for the chaotic life I was given, I seem to get through each and everyday with moderate success and some days I can even smile.
Five years ago I sat looking at this very lake a week out of major ankle surgery. I knew I was going through a low point in my life at that point and journaling really helped with coping. I wrote a very different entry then the one I am today. If I can dig that entry up, I’ll post it too. Five years ago I was recovering from my first of three ankle surgeries and I was angry. I sat looking at the lake in the utter silence thinking about everything that I should be doing but couldn’t. Today I sit in silence thinking about everything I have.
I have radiant joy. It took 24 years and a long weekend in the Adirondack region to realize my radiant joy, but shoot girl am I joyful.
My ankle surgeries didn’t give me an actual second chance at life, meaning my life was never in danger, however, I’m living high off this second chance feeling. My ankle surgeries didn’t physically give me a second chance, but emotionally they did.
At this point in life I have realize my true friends, the people that even when I am a raging jerk will look at me with a smile and love me regardless. They don’t condone the jerk, they love in spite of the jerk. We all have a jerk within is, my jerk is more tenacious then my sweetheart so that’s what people see more often. And yet I still have radiant joy from the ever present love that surrounds me. I can’t say I could fill a room of 100 people if asked, but I could name a half dozen without faulting. The euphoric emotion of joy is a direct result of utter gratitude of true friendship.
When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to grow up. I couldn’t wait to move out, to have a job, to drive and to wear real adult clothes. I think perhaps the most impressive adulthood thing I’ve experienced is an adult friendship. Someone I can call up in the digital age of texting and just chat about nothing simply to lift my spirits. The most shocking and surprising thing about being a twenty something year old is the love that surrounds me by people that choose to love me.
I have Radiant Joy, radiant joy for today.